Female ejaculation, a how-to

Two things mix in the stories. On one side a small volume of fluid, linked to glands around the urethra, sometimes called female ejaculate. On the other a larger amount, clear, that looks like water and comes in part from the bladder, without being ordinary urine. Both exist, both are normal, and many women live neither.

Not “squirting” says nothing about the quality of the orgasm. Making it a trophy often spoils the pleasure of the one who feels she should produce an effect.

A towel, or the shower, takes away the fear of “wetting the bed”, which is the first brake. Arousal is already high. One or two fingers, short nail, look for the G-spot area: the front wall of the vagina, a few centimetres in, a slightly more textured ridge. Pressure is towards the pubic bone, a regular “come here” motion.

The urge to pee is the signal many women describe just before. If you hold it by reflex, nothing comes out. Going to the toilet first lets you know the bladder is not full, and lets the feeling arrive without panic. The clitoris stimulated at the same time often helps.

Pressing hard and long because a tutorial promised it ends in irritation, not orgasm. If it stings, stop. The fluid, when it comes, does not have to be tasted, measured or commented on as a performance. A towel in the wash, a glass of water, and the question: was that good for you. That is the only how-to that holds.